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So I made a toy javascript thingy that poops funky dot matrix effects on video files:

The Pfixloraterinator

Warning: Sound. Video. Autoplay.

The Pfixloraterinator - for all your funky ass dotmatrix needs.

CPU load is pretty massive, but whatever.
I mostly stole the basics from the ClosePixelate.js script. Still very happy with how it came out.

Next step, maybe: a ‘choose your video’ and effect switching button.